As was mentioned in the first and witchy edition of The Nerdery, I love to pull me some tarot cards to meditate, sync up, and explore feelings and ideas. Each year on New Year’s Eve, I pull a 12-card spread — one for each month — with a thematic key to help guide me in the coming year. To clarify, I don’t use this as a fortune telling exercise for divining the future, but more as meditation on insights gleaned from what the cards represent and bring up for me.

That said, I’ve been surprised and a little freaked out by how things end up aligning since I began this practice. This year has been no exception, so before I draw the next set for 2026, I figured I’d spend a little time reflecting on the cards and how things ultimately played out in 2025.

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The key card I drew for this year was the Mother of Wands, and it proved to be more than a little prophetic. At first, I was flattered by the descriptors in the guide book: Attractive, domestic, vibrant — protective of family, and leading with grace after overcoming great pain and trauma. Being beautiful, forceful, and one to avoid crossing on top of that all sounded like fine goals to move toward with intention and care while staring down the barrel of a second Trump administration, but hoo buddy, I wasn’t entirely prepared for everything I’d be learning over these months.

This was the first year that I drew mostly minor arcana throughout, with only three major arcana appearing in the final part of the year. My process for this spread involves drawing each month card face down first and arranging all 12 in a clockwise circle with the key card in the center, drawn last but flipped first. Mostly, I do this to prevent the temptation to endlessly shuffle and draw until a logical or appealing spread turns up, but it also helps me explore the nuances of the cards that might seem a little out of place or concerning on first glance.

In 2025, I drew:

The year did start with some great reconnections. Old friends from my hometown messaged me to learn more about how I got out, and ask for advice on making their own moves. Former colleagues got in touch to visit while in town for conferences, or to ask about becoming neighbors. I enjoyed linking up and sharing what I know, and I hope to do more of it as soon as we stabilize from all the disruptions that arrived shortly after.

I like to think that my candor and perspective were an asset to the programs and staff I served while doing now-verboten DEI work. It was meaningful to me, and I know that I tried my best to put observations to strategic use and brace myself and my team for the unpleasant and uncertain times ahead. I wish I could say I totally evaded spite and judgement; however, spite has often been a form of motivation fuel for me, and I definitely was (and still am) judging the everliving crap out of the people and systems that enabled and emboldened the far right.

March was the month everything changed. Despite previous assurances from leadership that the budget would cover operations and salaries for at least a year or more, I was laid off as soon as the federal grants got yanked. I’d been deeply concerned by all the changes and rapid capitulation at many institutions and companies we worked alongside, but I didn’t see it coming — and they certainly didn’t do much to help me prepare. Instead, I perceived that, regardless of their stated commitment to equity and inclusion, they were more than willing to traumatically cut loose a person who had gone from a valued team asset to a political liability, because I am a disabled queer who is unwilling to abide fascist power grabs and confine myself to the closet. They put a meeting on my calendar, refused to talk to me beforehand, and in a few minutes, I no longer was the primary breadwinner with an accessible job covering our insurance and bills. I definitely appreciated that my unemployment insurance could carry us for six months while I looked for a new gig, but knowing that thousands of others were being ousted from their positions at the same time did not inspire confidence that it would be a quick turn around.

April brought my 40th birthday, and if that milestone wasn’t enough to rekindle some depression about how far behind I sometimes feel due to various adversities, being laid off abruptly two weeks beforehand certainly provided plenty of survival anxiety and Imposter Syndrome kindling. Party plans went poof, replaced by job application sprees. Meanwhile, my asthma was flaring up worse than it ever had before due to the wildfire smoke blanketing the hemisphere and turning the volume on my climate and health anxieties to 11. So, with awareness that there would be no going back even if I wanted to, I decided to focus on following the pull I feel toward climate communications.

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May was a month of hoofing it down the job trail, setting a pace of applying for one job that would immediately solve all the problems each workday. Easy, right? Well, not if you’re so results-oriented that you hone in on that task to the exclusion of all else. Keeping the card’s warning about the potential to be stubborn and persistent to a fault in mind, I set some time boundaries for myself that I’m still refining, but have definitely helped keep burnout at bay.

By June, I was getting lots of “thank you for your interest” responses with kind feedback and messages about highly competitive selection processes. Turns out, most climate orgs are getting hundreds of applications per job post! For the sake of expediency, I decided to branch out and apply for anything that aligned with my deeply held values. Campaigns, justice orgs, vegan educational programs — the works. Netted a few interviews, but nothing landed, and I started to worry that my refusal to remove my pronouns or spend personal time on platforms with terrible policies for people like me was harming my odds. I returned to the Seven of Wands for encouragement and to cultivate the will to be a lone light in the dark, if need be.

In July, I got a new medication for my asthma that’s been a huge help. Definitely felt my stamina, strength, and confidence return on the hiking trail — but less so on the job trail. Putting out dozens of applications was wearing me down, even though I heard that not getting ghosted is a great achievement in itself. Seems a low bar, but I kept at my pace and continued slinging applications at any mission and salary I could make work.

In August, we decided we’d had enough of worrying that whatever was left in my retirement accounts would be whisked away in a flash by stock market volatility. So, we cashed out what we had and squirreled it away, knowing that the UI wasn’t going to last forever, and hiring timelines can span months. We picked up a few essentials we’d been going without, planned a birthday game-fest for my partner, and restocked our pantry.

September is when I began to seriously consider starting my own business instead of spending more time waiting for an employer to take me on. Foolish? Perhaps, but after several months of job hunting, knowing just how much time and effort I — and many others in my position — had been putting into cover letters instead of actual work was frustrating me. I also kept hearing a recurring need for communications help from solutions architects and frontline communities, and that need is present now. If I can secure startup financing, the wait is over and the work I’ve been yearning to do begins. Call me crazy for trying in this economy if you must, but people have certainly gotten bigger loans for worse ideas.

By October, I was very into the idea of formalizing my environmental journalism and freelance work into a legacy I could be proud of, and create a vehicle for equitably hiring people in the process. I got serious about seeking options, and to my great surprise and delight, I found a local program that seemed perfectly suited to my idea. I put together a very loose budget and reached out to the nearest branch to request more information, and within a few days, the branch manager called and invited me to come pitch the plan. Happily, she seems just as excited about it as I am, and she helps me get started with their learning module to craft The For Realsies Business Plan.

November was mostly a blur of e-learning, financial stress, and grief, as my beloved auntie became an ancestor the night before my partner and I finally caught the aurora and watched it dance across the sky. It was also our first month without any income, as my UI ran dry in mid October. Nonetheless, I did find some confidence and assurance working my way through Operation HOPE’s Entrepreneurial Training module, and each lesson completed was another step closer to a business plan I could submit for consideration. By the end of the month, I had my first draft.

Which brings us to December and now, a moment where we forsake the standard materialism of capitalist holiday traditions. This isn’t the first year we haven’t been able to afford to get gifts or host a gathering, and I doubt it will be the last. That’s okay with me. We eat very well, thanks to trades with our wonderful community. As is their semi-annual wont, ugly familial relationships emerge with negativity and are gently rebuffed with silent disengagement, buried under inches of fresh-fallen snow. Mostly, I’m just grateful to have a safe and warm home that I love, in which I can edit the glammed up version of my plan for the future. I’m hopeful I’ll have it done tomorrow. 🤞🏼

If you’d like to work together next year, please don’t hesitate to contact me! I can provide a wide range of digital media production services, ranging from audio transcription to writing original articles and clipping videos. I’m also eager to consult and share strategic guidance tailored to unique communications ecosystems, and you can learn more about my professional experience and past work here.

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